Me: weekly for my main work computer, doing at least manual malware scans, manual backups, and restore functionality testing (merely deleting some unimportant files and doing the restore) plus whatever needs to be done. Chores done an as needed basis for the other computers (not on a calendar schedule)
BTW, it is at times like this when I wished I could RDP my computers from my phone
but no worry, it will come, it's just a matter of time :)
Anyway, I'd like to compare notes on how others keep their horses running, thanks!